Entry 71: Two Lives

I was born in Taiwan and grew up here. I first went to local schools. There I was exposed to mostly Taiwanese culture. Outside of school I was totally immersed in Taiwanese culture. However, my family doesn't speak Taiwanese and so neither do I. Both my mother's and father's grandparents were from China, as a result my family is more Chinese than Taiwanese. I had a hard time in Taiwanese class in school because the teacher expected everyone to have already known the basics of the local language. Nevertheless, I still consider myself a Taiwanese. I think it was after third grade that I got in touch with some serious Western culture. The first step was my mother introducing English oldies to my sister and I as a way of learning English. I was never fond of Taiwanese pop music, but those English oldies paved the way for my music appreciation now. Later I came to PAS and I was submerged by all the Western-ness. I think after spending these years in PAS, I was influenced both in thoughts and actions. I started to grab the sense of individual and sought to express myself more, even though previously I had been a dancer and it was important to present yourself on stage. I became bilingual, but while my English improved I forgot some of my Chinese. Now I can't even write a Chinese sentence without using a dictionary.

Entry 70: My Style

My clothing style is nothing special, but most of the time I prefer a more androgynous style. I rarely wear skirts and dresses because they are not as convenient. I usually just wear T-shirts and pants or shorts in the summer. However I do enjoy a more formal look, such as suit jackets or long coats (I don't actually have one). Although I care about how I look, clothes are really not my main concern. I believe I'm quite thoughtful (sometimes think too much) and I'm serious toward most subjects. Not that I'm boring; I enjoy a good sense of humor and laugh a lot. It's just that I treat things seriously, which sometimes bothers me. I'm not good with strangers; I only become talkative when I'm with someone I know well. I'm a downright perfectionist. I get upset with myself all the time when I can't draw a certain anatomy, can't write an essay, or just can't do something in general. That also makes me a very neat and tidy person. I put my stuff back in the same place every time. I listen to almost every genre of music, as long as they appeal to my ears. Besides music from the past decades, I also listen to eccentric music that very little people can tolerate. I consider myself open-minded as an Asian, since I believe everyone, whether they're from different races or have different sexualities, should have equal rights. I have struggled over myself about my style before. I couldn't figure out whether I should accept my style or try to follow another style that I like better than my own. Now I think the best way is to take influences from others, but still be yourself.

Entry 69: Magic Pictures

The first picture on page 356 features a group of children peeping curiously at a bird sculpture standing in a doorway. The building is gray and old. There are some graffiti on the aged walls. The bird sculpture is a ostrich made out of wood or plastic. Its front is exposed while the rear is hidden behind the unopened door. The children look at it as though it is alive. The magic-realistic part of this picture is that it is set in a realistic, street-corner view, but the bird sculpture is portrayed as being animate. I think this picture is trying to depict the way the villagers reacts to the old man with wings. The people in the story and the children in the picture all stare and having fun with the strange object (man with wings/ bird sculpture). Maybe the bird sculpture in the photograph symbolizes how a "stranger" is like an object to others rather than an alive being.
On page 361, the third picture has a landscape with rocky mountains. Sitting on the tallest rock is a sculpted moon with a human face. The sky is blue and shows that it is day, not night. What is ironic is that we see a moon during daylight, the moon is not in the sky, and most of all, it's not real after all. The photograph however contains realistic elements - its setting. Just like magic realism writings, they usually start in a realistic situation and environment. After that, things get weirder and weirder.

Entry 68: Magic Realism

I think the problem with understanding magic realism is that in a magic-realistic writing, the author doesn't always provide reasons for bizarre events. When strange things happen in a story, the author doesn't tell the readers how or why they happen, they just do. Plus, the writers tend to use a serious, almost indifferent tone that we might find difficult to relate to. Due to our inborn curiosity, we like to question why things happen until we get a satisfying answer; one that we think is logical. As a result, when inexperienced readers (and ones that don't like to think) don't get a story, they become frustrated because the need for reasons is not fulfilled. Instead of ponder deeper into the story, those readers give up immediately and thus lose the chance to appreciate even the obvious strangeness.
You know, strangeness can be very enjoyable.
For me, I think magic realism is awesome! I don't believe that in order to appreciate something you need to understand it first. No, I enjoy being perplexed. In those moments of confusion is when you start noticing other parts of the work; parts that seem special to you. For instance, when looking at a modern art painting, sometimes the point is not to fully understand its meaning. Instead, the sheer aesthetics of the composition, colors, and texture can trigger strong emotions in us.
I'm fascinated by weird things.

Entry 67: A Miracle

A miracle is something totally impossible that happens. At first miracle refers to the deeds of God, but people now can use it to describe something tremendously surprising or impressive. For example, an unprecedented accomplishment in medicine can be titled a "miracle" in medical science. A miracle is something good. You would not call a sudden death of someone young a miracle just because it's highly unlikely to happen. But if that person is someone harmful to the society and he or she dies that might somehow count as a miracle. I think the difference between something unusual and a miracle is that unusual means it's above 60 percent unlikely, while a miracle is 99.5 percent unlikely to happen. I believe in miracles, and I have to because I believe in God and science. There are always stories about how a person survives after being struck by thunder, or recovers from a deadly illness such as cancer. To whom each person attribute these things is another topic, but they would all agree that they are miracles. I can't remember if I ever witnessed any miracles. The word "miracle" today seems to be used more in a sarcastic sentence than a positive one. That's just my observation.

Entry 66: Something Unexpected

I really don't know what is "realistic" about the character's reactions when they see supernatural things. I mean, supernatural is already unrealistic, how would I know if people will really act that way? It also depends on the character's personality and background. Of course everyone will act differently to situations like that. A lot of times in fantasy stories the setting is completely imaginary so surely the characters must be very used to that sort of things and not be startled by them. Oh, maybe we're talking about how normal people in movies meet supernatural crap? Well then, that might contain some realistic elements. I'd say, even though each person may still act according to their traits, most of them will be awfully scared. In real life people usually get frightened when something abrupt and weird happens. In most of the stories I've read the characters indeed get very surprised by things like that. If they act as though it's funny or it's absolutely normal, it's usually for comic effects. Personally I get totally freaked out by those things. I used to be really scared of ghosts and monsters that I'm afraid to walk near a dark room. I've never really "seen" them, but my father likes to tell stories like that and I became even more scared. This is why I never watch horror movies. I only watch thriller movies like Psycho. And now I'm not as scared of them because when I see monsters and ghosts in movies or even video games I know exactly that they are fake.

Entry 65: Proving One’s Self

There must be some kind of biological reason behind why young people do all kinds of crazy things to prove themselves mature, since this happens to the very first human beings and to people today. Maybe this is just another result of our superior intelligence, because we not only learn from each other, we envy one another. When a person is growing up, he or she wishes to be just like the adults because there are certain things kids can't do and grown-ups can. There is also the awful thing called pride and vanity. We humans always want to do thing to make ourselves feel like we are better than the others. The same concept applies to why young people like to show-off, I guess. Most of the time this need for proving oneself mature leads to pretty foolish decisions. I remember the time when my mother and I sent my sister to university she made us really upset by acting rude. She claimed that it made her feel childish to have us helping her carrying stuff to her dorm and she fussed about things a lot. We understood that she wants to be independent, but still her behaviors during that time hurt feelings. I would say it was rather pointless for her to act like that, although it did help us to want to get rid of her sooner. But that was only temporarily. My mother cried and prayed for her on the airplane back home.