Entry 24: Crossing the Rubicon

This situation happens when a person makes a terrible mistake, putting him/herself in big trouble. Or a person could invest all his/her money in a risky business that he/she would either become extremely rich or lose everything. People react to this kind of "no-turning-back" situations differently according to their personalities. Some may be brave and determined; they stand up and face the situation and fight for the best they could get. Some may try to hide, or escape from the challenge. Some like to stay neutral; they just wait and let the flow take them to wherever the situation leads them to.
I think the time when I "crossed the Rubicon" was when I decided to come to PAS. I put myself in an environment which language I did not speak and ways I found strange. But I knew I could not go back to local school, not the life I'd already left behind when I began home-schooling. The first several months of complete deafness and illiteracy in English was awfully difficult to endure. I remember the day I cried my eyes out because of the setback, the frustration and humiliation. Somehow, though, it became the past; all those tears now only flow in memory. I guess I managed to hold on to myself during those years. When I collapsed from time to time, I picked up the pieces and put them back, sometimes losing a few parts and soon I found new ones.

P.S. I typed this entry twice. The reason is illustrated below...