Entry 78: Risk for a Reason

People who save strangers must be a lot less than the people who look after themselves, otherwise we wouldn't hear stories about those heroic actions as they are regarded as noble. Altruism is certainly rare. When one is in danger, the normal thing to do would be to protect him or herself, at least to most people. Most of the time altruism happens when one person is saving another who is related to that person. It makes sense because, biologically all living things want to preserve their genes. It is natural for us to save others who share the same genes as us. Nevertheless, true altruism does exist. I've heard stories about people who risked their lives to help the Jews during World War I, even if they were not Jewish. I don't really know how people put others' safety ahead of his/her own. Maybe I'm just too selfish to understand. As for me...well, to be honest, I think I would look after myself first. I'm just too much of a coward to help someone in the midst of danger. If a person puts him or herself in stupid danger deliberately, I of course would be less willing to help him/her. I would care more for victims of natural disasters and other disasters that those people didn't foolishly put themselves into.

Entry 77: Why Take Risks?

Jon Krakauer said that mountain climbers have little common sense, and before they've actually experienced the climbing, they never realize how dangerous it is. He also said that climbers would forget about prudence when they could reach the summit. I think it's the same with other kinds of risks that people take. For example, before people take drugs, it's very likely that they have heard of the side effects, but people do it anyway. Just like what Krakauer said, people don't realize how dangerous the risks are before they take it. When they know the good things they would get when they do it, they lose cautiousness. This is also true about non-physical risks, such as investment. Before people put their money into a business, there is always the hope that they would get more money later. As a result some people might become less careful of their money. Also they never know how terrible it is to lose a lot of money until it happens. I think everyone has pretty much the same reason for taking risks; we want something that we would have to sacrifice a little in order to get it, and hoping that in return we get more than we sacrifice.

Entry 76: Participation

I think the job of a journalist is to write down events currently happening in the world, but few people know it, in an objective, informative manner that the public can read and learn from easily. To actually be a participant, it is certainly challenging to avoid putting too much of oneself into the emotional part of the event. At the same time, however, it might be the best way to fully understand the significance of the subject and obtain as much information as possible. I believe not everyone is competent for such a job. It takes courage as well as intellect to plunge oneself into some of the most radical and dangerous conditions while remaining objective. To be honest, I'm not quite sure how one can be really objective when faced with situations like that. Sometimes journalists would even go to places that are currently at war. Such life-threatening experiences are not easy to keep a distance from once you participated. There's a blurry line between being an observer and being a participant of an event. An observer is simply one who watches, but how far can he or she stand outside the event? A participant is one who takes part in the event, but how much does it take to be counted as participating?

Entry 75: Humor’s Role

I wonder if it's really true that when one is in absolute sorrow, one can do nothing but laugh. I don't think I would ever be able to fully understand how sad and bitter life was for Frank McCourt, for I was born in a good family in a safe country and a rather peaceful time. All I know is laughing and crying are both good forms of releasing emotions. You always feel a lot better after you laughed or cried hard for a long time. But the humor McCourt used was a bit different. It's the kind that makes you chuckle rather than laughing out loud. So what is there to laugh? If there are things to cry about there are certainly things to laugh about. Emotions form depending on the attitude one puts into an event. It seems to me that McCourt deliberately accounts sad events in a almost indifferent way, probably because he had seen too much. However he adds small details that lighten up the general mood of his story. Those details are the everyday humor we can all find in our lives, but we don't always see them. Putting humor in art is an art itself. In fact, even though it seems like humor is about positive things, I'm starting to think that often it is build upon sad things.

Entry 74: Sick

The hospital was never really a place of dread for me, for I have become somewhat familiar with it during my childhood. I remember clearly that my mother used to take my sister and me to this hospital where my father worked. A gray narrow hallway with a slope became our playground and we would run up and down and slide on it. The area where we stayed waiting for our father, as I recall, was not particularly somber, however. It had sofas and a few small windows. There was even a bird cage with two lovebirds.
The first vivid memory of visiting someone in the hospital is fairly recent. My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer not too long ago and at that time she was staying in a hospital (I believe it was MacKay Hospital) in Taipei. We went to visit her one day. It's true that there is a certain unpleasant smell in hospitals, but after a while you get used to it. Outside the Mackay Hospital in Taipei there were tall brick walls and some arcs to represent the period it was built in history. The hospital inside is just like any other hospitals, with a faint gray tone that was supposed to be white. The lights, though brightly lit, could not fully clear out all the shadows lurking in the corners. I can't remember now what it was like in the room where my grandmother rested, but it was a regular four-person room with the hideous green curtains separating each bed. There was hardly anything to do except reading a book and eating. There was not even much to look at for the walls are awfully dull.

Entry 73: Happy or Sad

It appears to me that sad memories are somehow stronger than happy memories. When I try to think of a significant experience I had, it's mostly about a struggle or a painful event. I don't know if that has to do with our life styles. Kids like me that are born in a good family and have proper education, we are naturally happier than people that are suffering everyday. What I mean is, since we are often feeling delighted and relaxed, happy memories don't stand out that much in our lives. On the other hand, if a person who's suffering or living in terror everyday, he or she might find happy memories more precious. Another reason why sad memories tend to be stronger is that at the time when they happened, they were usually shocking, painful, and often teaches the person his or her mistake prior to the consequence. We learn from our mistakes that cause us a bad time. Some memories however are a mix of sad and happy ones. I remember taking dance lessons with this wonderful teacher - the practices are hard and painful, but dancing is at the same time beautiful. I consider that period very influential on who I am today. All I can think of about my memories right now are the two times I hurt myself and had to get stitches, and the times we adopted our two cats.

Entry 72: Immigrant’s Journey

The biggest difference between my experience and Jhumpa's is that I have never immigrated to another country. I've stayed in Taiwan all my life. I guess in order to compare myself with her, I would count my transfer from local schools to PAS an immigration. Yeah, totally. I'm surprised there are actually some similarities. Her family in America still practiced Indian traditions at home. I attend an American school, but my family still speaks Chinese and follow some local customs. She talks about some confusion she had about her identity as an Indian-American. I have never had any ethnic questions about myself. I know exactly I'm Chinese/Taiwanese. The problem with that is not the same as an identity issue; it's political. The quote at first didn't spark any resonance in me. Then I thought if coming to PAS is an immigration, then yes. My sister would serve as the first immigrant generation here. She came to this school first and underwent the painful adaptation before I did. My first three years in PAS was accompanied by my mother and sister. Departure would be the three of us moving to Hsinchu in a small rental flat. Deprivation was how we gave up our comfort in Taichung to live in Hsinchu, and of course the money. I had to go through the adaptation myself, but I knew I could do it because my sister had done it. And during those years we went to school everyday together. So, yes, what Jhumpa said can pretty much apply to me as well.

Entry 71: Two Lives

I was born in Taiwan and grew up here. I first went to local schools. There I was exposed to mostly Taiwanese culture. Outside of school I was totally immersed in Taiwanese culture. However, my family doesn't speak Taiwanese and so neither do I. Both my mother's and father's grandparents were from China, as a result my family is more Chinese than Taiwanese. I had a hard time in Taiwanese class in school because the teacher expected everyone to have already known the basics of the local language. Nevertheless, I still consider myself a Taiwanese. I think it was after third grade that I got in touch with some serious Western culture. The first step was my mother introducing English oldies to my sister and I as a way of learning English. I was never fond of Taiwanese pop music, but those English oldies paved the way for my music appreciation now. Later I came to PAS and I was submerged by all the Western-ness. I think after spending these years in PAS, I was influenced both in thoughts and actions. I started to grab the sense of individual and sought to express myself more, even though previously I had been a dancer and it was important to present yourself on stage. I became bilingual, but while my English improved I forgot some of my Chinese. Now I can't even write a Chinese sentence without using a dictionary.

Entry 70: My Style

My clothing style is nothing special, but most of the time I prefer a more androgynous style. I rarely wear skirts and dresses because they are not as convenient. I usually just wear T-shirts and pants or shorts in the summer. However I do enjoy a more formal look, such as suit jackets or long coats (I don't actually have one). Although I care about how I look, clothes are really not my main concern. I believe I'm quite thoughtful (sometimes think too much) and I'm serious toward most subjects. Not that I'm boring; I enjoy a good sense of humor and laugh a lot. It's just that I treat things seriously, which sometimes bothers me. I'm not good with strangers; I only become talkative when I'm with someone I know well. I'm a downright perfectionist. I get upset with myself all the time when I can't draw a certain anatomy, can't write an essay, or just can't do something in general. That also makes me a very neat and tidy person. I put my stuff back in the same place every time. I listen to almost every genre of music, as long as they appeal to my ears. Besides music from the past decades, I also listen to eccentric music that very little people can tolerate. I consider myself open-minded as an Asian, since I believe everyone, whether they're from different races or have different sexualities, should have equal rights. I have struggled over myself about my style before. I couldn't figure out whether I should accept my style or try to follow another style that I like better than my own. Now I think the best way is to take influences from others, but still be yourself.

Entry 69: Magic Pictures

The first picture on page 356 features a group of children peeping curiously at a bird sculpture standing in a doorway. The building is gray and old. There are some graffiti on the aged walls. The bird sculpture is a ostrich made out of wood or plastic. Its front is exposed while the rear is hidden behind the unopened door. The children look at it as though it is alive. The magic-realistic part of this picture is that it is set in a realistic, street-corner view, but the bird sculpture is portrayed as being animate. I think this picture is trying to depict the way the villagers reacts to the old man with wings. The people in the story and the children in the picture all stare and having fun with the strange object (man with wings/ bird sculpture). Maybe the bird sculpture in the photograph symbolizes how a "stranger" is like an object to others rather than an alive being.
On page 361, the third picture has a landscape with rocky mountains. Sitting on the tallest rock is a sculpted moon with a human face. The sky is blue and shows that it is day, not night. What is ironic is that we see a moon during daylight, the moon is not in the sky, and most of all, it's not real after all. The photograph however contains realistic elements - its setting. Just like magic realism writings, they usually start in a realistic situation and environment. After that, things get weirder and weirder.

Entry 68: Magic Realism

I think the problem with understanding magic realism is that in a magic-realistic writing, the author doesn't always provide reasons for bizarre events. When strange things happen in a story, the author doesn't tell the readers how or why they happen, they just do. Plus, the writers tend to use a serious, almost indifferent tone that we might find difficult to relate to. Due to our inborn curiosity, we like to question why things happen until we get a satisfying answer; one that we think is logical. As a result, when inexperienced readers (and ones that don't like to think) don't get a story, they become frustrated because the need for reasons is not fulfilled. Instead of ponder deeper into the story, those readers give up immediately and thus lose the chance to appreciate even the obvious strangeness.
You know, strangeness can be very enjoyable.
For me, I think magic realism is awesome! I don't believe that in order to appreciate something you need to understand it first. No, I enjoy being perplexed. In those moments of confusion is when you start noticing other parts of the work; parts that seem special to you. For instance, when looking at a modern art painting, sometimes the point is not to fully understand its meaning. Instead, the sheer aesthetics of the composition, colors, and texture can trigger strong emotions in us.
I'm fascinated by weird things.

Entry 67: A Miracle

A miracle is something totally impossible that happens. At first miracle refers to the deeds of God, but people now can use it to describe something tremendously surprising or impressive. For example, an unprecedented accomplishment in medicine can be titled a "miracle" in medical science. A miracle is something good. You would not call a sudden death of someone young a miracle just because it's highly unlikely to happen. But if that person is someone harmful to the society and he or she dies that might somehow count as a miracle. I think the difference between something unusual and a miracle is that unusual means it's above 60 percent unlikely, while a miracle is 99.5 percent unlikely to happen. I believe in miracles, and I have to because I believe in God and science. There are always stories about how a person survives after being struck by thunder, or recovers from a deadly illness such as cancer. To whom each person attribute these things is another topic, but they would all agree that they are miracles. I can't remember if I ever witnessed any miracles. The word "miracle" today seems to be used more in a sarcastic sentence than a positive one. That's just my observation.

Entry 66: Something Unexpected

I really don't know what is "realistic" about the character's reactions when they see supernatural things. I mean, supernatural is already unrealistic, how would I know if people will really act that way? It also depends on the character's personality and background. Of course everyone will act differently to situations like that. A lot of times in fantasy stories the setting is completely imaginary so surely the characters must be very used to that sort of things and not be startled by them. Oh, maybe we're talking about how normal people in movies meet supernatural crap? Well then, that might contain some realistic elements. I'd say, even though each person may still act according to their traits, most of them will be awfully scared. In real life people usually get frightened when something abrupt and weird happens. In most of the stories I've read the characters indeed get very surprised by things like that. If they act as though it's funny or it's absolutely normal, it's usually for comic effects. Personally I get totally freaked out by those things. I used to be really scared of ghosts and monsters that I'm afraid to walk near a dark room. I've never really "seen" them, but my father likes to tell stories like that and I became even more scared. This is why I never watch horror movies. I only watch thriller movies like Psycho. And now I'm not as scared of them because when I see monsters and ghosts in movies or even video games I know exactly that they are fake.

Entry 65: Proving One’s Self

There must be some kind of biological reason behind why young people do all kinds of crazy things to prove themselves mature, since this happens to the very first human beings and to people today. Maybe this is just another result of our superior intelligence, because we not only learn from each other, we envy one another. When a person is growing up, he or she wishes to be just like the adults because there are certain things kids can't do and grown-ups can. There is also the awful thing called pride and vanity. We humans always want to do thing to make ourselves feel like we are better than the others. The same concept applies to why young people like to show-off, I guess. Most of the time this need for proving oneself mature leads to pretty foolish decisions. I remember the time when my mother and I sent my sister to university she made us really upset by acting rude. She claimed that it made her feel childish to have us helping her carrying stuff to her dorm and she fussed about things a lot. We understood that she wants to be independent, but still her behaviors during that time hurt feelings. I would say it was rather pointless for her to act like that, although it did help us to want to get rid of her sooner. But that was only temporarily. My mother cried and prayed for her on the airplane back home.

Entry 64: Rites of Passage

I believe I have gone through quite a few rites of passage in my life so far. The first days of kindergarten and elementary school, even though I don't remember much, were the start of me being a student. The day I came to PAS marks another period of my academic life. I began to have motivation and goals and of course, to learn another language. Being a girl, my body "transformed" as I grow. I was the more, if not the most, mature-looking girl in my class. In about forth grade I already had visible breasts while other girls were almost flat. (I had a class full of girls and only two guys) The actual rite of passage for that would be the day I start to wear bras, I guess. Then, of course there was the time my period came.
Time for some other rites of passage. Now just when I say that I realized how few rites of passage have I gone through. Dang. I know there are a lot of those rites in our lovely aboriginal tribes, like the Atayal tribe's tradition of face tattoos. Only grown women who can weave and grown men who can hunt have the honor to get tattooed.
"Passage" is definitely a symbol for the journey of life, and "rite" is ceremony, often religious.

Entry 63: Being Tested

I hesitated a bit about writing this character and this movie - Pink from Pink Floyd the Wall, but here it is. Pink is a mentally and emotionally unstable rock star who slowly builds a metaphorical wall of alienation around himself. When he was a kid his father died in World War II. He longed for a father figure throughout his childhood while raised up by an overprotective mother. At school, Pink was humiliated by the teacher for writing poems in class. (This is where the absolutely awesome music video Another Brick in the Wall kicks in.) He got married eventually, but his wife cheated on him while he was on tour. When he learned of the affair he was traumatized. He brought a groupie back to his hotel room but had a fit of violence and began smashing things. The groupie fled in horror. Pink broke down again and started to go insane. He shaved all his body hair off, including eyebrows, and lay faintly in his room. His manager found him and inject him with drugs to make him perform a concert. He hallucinated that he is a neo-Nazi dictator speaking at a rally. As the scenes got more and more intense, he screamed, "Stop!" and hid himself in a bathroom. In his mind he put himself on trial. In the end, he managed to destroy the "wall."
The movie is highly symbolic, but Pink did have to go through an ordeal. He is driven crazy by the things happening in his life. He at first isolated himself, but eventually overcame the challenge even though we don't know what exactly happened to him. I also thought of writing this movie because we're on the unit of symbols; the film is loaded with symbols.

Entry 62: Symbol of the House

In "House Taken Over," the house is a symbol of a country. It is big and old. Irene and her brother live in it for a long time and never change their daily routines. The regular routines represent their culture and customs. They follow their traditions strictly, never question or think about them. The mysterious invading forces are people or cultures from other countries. Irene and her brother's land and culture are violated by these foreigners. The closing of the oak door separating the front and back of the house could be that Irene's brother is trying to block away the foreign influences or that he tries to put those group of people in a restricted area. When that is done, they still lose some of their traditions but they managed to keep on with their lives. In the end however the foreign influences spread over to their side. Irene and her brother, who are the native-born, is forced out of the house/country. The foreigners have taken over the country.
There had been multiple times in history when a native group of people is invaded by foreign groups. Europeans persecuted Native Americans when they came to America. Later the different ethnic groups that immigrated to American also got segregated.

Entry 61: Taken Over

In the story "House Taken Over," I think the thing that was really taken over was the speaker and his sister's lives. Their lives, which were regular routines and basically nothing else, were invaded by either some outside forces or their own minds. However, the fact that after they heard the mysterious voices they could hardly sleep well, suggested that whether or not the noises are outside, they sank into the minds of the characters. Irene talked in her sleep, and every time she did the speaker woke up and couldn't fall asleep again. The brother and sister seemed to be living in their own worlds, but they are aware of the outside world. That's why when the speaker heard the noises he and Irene were not surprised. They knew how it was when other things mess up their regular lives. When they had lost the back part of the house, they simply adopted a new schedule to fit the situation. But, as the unknown forces grew nearer, they had to leave the house. They didn't want to change their ways of life, or the state of minds, even at the last moment. They avoided the problem instead of dealing with it. I did some research, and I think the author Julio Cortazar was indeed trying to capture the strange feeling in dreams.

Entry 60: Symbols

A symbol is an object or a sign that represents something else. It carries some of the qualities of the thing it symbolizes. All numbers are symbols. The Arabic numbers, for example, represents the quantities. "1" represents having only one thing. The ancient Egyptian symbol, the "ankh," is the key of life. It's shaped like a key with a loop on top. It's the hieroglyphic character that symbolizes "eternal life." Another very common symbol is flags. For example, the rainbow flag that represents the LGBT. It's composed of six different-colored stripes. Each color represents a thing; red (life), orange (healing), yellow (sunlight), green (nature), blue (harmony), and purple/violet (spirit). The flag as a whole represents the diversity in the LGBT community. I think symbols can both be created by will and be occurring naturally. The symbols I mentioned earlier were all created. However, some symbols such as animals contain qualities that we would instinctively associate with something else. For example, dogs symbolizes loyalty, lions for strength, and owls represents wisdom. In my own life, I see and use symbols every day. Written languages are symbols. Chinese, English and French, the ones I can write, all have different characters and letters that represent almost everything.

Entry 59: Choices

I think that's true in some way. Our abilities are just what we can do; it's not something reflective of our personalities. Abilities show only the physical or mental aspect of us, while choices show our thoughts and psychological individuality. If you believe that our being is not the body we live in, then this idea is definitely logical.
In my short life so far, I have only made a few really hard choices. The times when I decided to enter a dance school, to dance only as a hobby, to start home-schooling, to come to PAS, to come back to PAS again after I went to ICA...and now the on-going decision of my future college major, these are the choices that have affected and will affect my life direction. Well, I was fairly small when I decided to go for a dance school. I had no idea what the school was like and if I had any talent. I just went for it. I don't really know what it shows. But then, after I spent some years learning those dances, I felt that dancing is not my thing. I knew then I wasn't talented enough to actually make something out of it. I gave up the idea of becoming a performer and just danced for fun. I think that shows I'm aware of my own self. In other words, I'm practical. Coming to PAS was another practical decision. After home-schooling for a while, I knew I wasn't exactly the kind of extremely self-motivated person and I actually thrive under some pressure. I chose to go to a school again, but not a local school because I had enough of them.

Entry 58: Free Write

Hum, so, today's topic is no topic. How wonderful.
For art class we were to come up with a topic and a thesis statement for an essay. I don't know what I'll write about...Mrs. Jones suggested me to think about something related to feminism, since last semester I did a PowerPoint presentation on Hannah Hoch. Feminism in art, I suppose there's a whole lot to write about. I've always been bothered by the fact that artists create artworks of female nudes so often. When I was young I have been told that it became a tradition because female bodies are the hardest to capture. Now that I think about it, isn't it just bullcrap? An awful excuse? I mean, look at all these nasty male artists early in history, why do you think they hire pretty, naked models and paint them? Okay, I might have taken this a bit too personal because I feel somewhat offended. But seriously, this tradition should already be gone now. It's obviously unfair to the women. It seems like we are all sluts in some of those paintings, especially when the painting has both men and women; the men all well-dressed while the women naked. I'm also one of those all-or-nothing type. If there were to be naked women, there should be naked men as well. If the men are dressed, then make the ladies wear something too!
Oh, it's 200 words already? Haha, I'm always loud when it comes to feminist/ inequality topics. I can go on forever. The thing is, I was intending to use this chance to think about my essay topic, but it ended up with me going about this feminist rant.

Entry 57: Sea Fever

I can understand that the speaker loves the life on the sea, but since I've never liked seas that much and I've never been a sailor, I probably can't have empathy with him. I do have things that are my passions for life. The first thing is drawing, or art in general. The second is music, but only a few of the musicians that I listen to can give me a "fever." I can never stop drawing. If I don't draw for a while I get itches in my hand, I grow upset and I just want to draw something very badly. When I'm working on a picture, if I can't finish at least to a point where I can put it aside for a while but I have to do other things, I can't concentrate on the things that I have to do. (for example, homework) Drawing is my life, period. For music, I get "fevers" from certain musicians. I used to have serious Beatlemania. I still love the Beatles, (who doesn't? Haha.) but just not as crazy as before. Now I'm currently obsessed with Pet Shop Boys...still not as crazy as when I was obsessed with the Beatles, but god, how I love this electronic duo. I'm also really into Shpongle right now. This music project changed me. It changed the way I do artworks. I can't do my homework without some music playing. Music influences me in a lot of ways.

Entry 56: Public Speaking

I rather like performing, I think. Although I'm not a very outgoing person, I feel good when I can speak out my point of views and ideas. The fear of standing before a crowd never fades away, even though I've had many experiences in which I perform on stages. It's also another thing when there's no one other than you on stage. Performing with a group of people always feel better than doing it alone. When I was in elementary I did a lot of dancing performances. I never dance solo so I would feel nervous but at least not that bad. Then after I came to PAS I learned about presentations. That was really the first time I need to make a PowerPoint and speak. I believe I have improved a lot, both my English and speaking skills, since that time. When I was 13 I started playing guitar. Besides playing to myself, learning guitar also meant that I would have chances to perform. I'm still not very comfortable playing in front of people, but I often think about singing in the talent show. Do we have a talent show this year? If yes...I don't know what I'm going to perform, gees. I think reciting a poem is easier than a speech, because you know exactly what you're going to say.

Entry 55: The Inspiration of Sounds

As long as you have ears and you are not deaf, you never stop hearing sounds. Everything makes sounds when they move, even inanimate objects because when you move them they collide with air. Hearing is an extremely important sense to us. We perceive sounds so we can remember certain things, understand what's happening, measure the distance of an object, and all the other wonderful things. Sounds can affect a person's mood or thinking, especially when repeated. Music is the art of sounds. Musicians manipulate sounds to create an effect or express a message. Depending on the song, the listener may feel a variety of different things. Music is very inspirational because the sounds affect mood and can almost create an image in one's head. The listeners would relate the sounds to their own memories. A particular sound can help you recall a thing in the past. Another way we react to sounds is that we move our bodies. Beats, especially faster ones, make us want to dance. Also, different sounds can inspire different images and dance moves. Something in us will instinctively associate shapes and certain movements to sounds. For example, we describe a sound sharp because we think it reminds us of something with a sharp shape. A more harmonic sound may remind us of something rounder.

Entry 54: Travel

I have traveled on airplanes since I was very young. I know the earliest memory of a trip out of Taiwan was the time I went to Singapore, but I can't be sure if it was really the first. I had no memory of the flight. I have to admit for my age, I have been to quite a few countries. When I was little I wasn't afraid of flying. It's like the more you know, the more you would be scared of. Flying was just the same as a car trip, but longer. I only remember the feeling of stuffiness and pressure when the plane took off. Except that, flying was rather comfortable for me. Now, I may be concerned, but I'm still not scared of flights. The things that worry me more might be the safety of my luggage because it gets missed, lost, or forgotten often. Before I get on the plane it almost occurs naturally that I start to predict what disasters might happen during the trip. However I know they are (usually) nonsense and I will probably forget about them in a few minutes. The boredom on airplanes is another problem. When you are taking a trip to the US for example, it's a 14 hour flight. What are you going to do in the middle of nowhere in the air? Fortunately planes have little TV sets now. But a movie is only 2-3 hours, the rest of the time is hard to pass.

Entry 53: Write a Sonnet

What ways am I mesmerized by your charm?
Not from your looks, nor fame, nor way of life.
To me, they were the times I can disarm,
But feel like my heart is stabbed by a knife.
The art and the melodies at their best,
With the tide of strings and your soothing voice,
Pain and sorrow spin and come to their rest,
Trembling first then quiet, like a rolling dice.
The pleasant nature of your modesty,
Shines through the harmony with elegance.
I will never forget your honesty,
And the way you demand for acceptance.
The years have passed and the dreams will shiver.
Only the music shall last, forever.

Entry 52: Respond to Shakespeare

Dear William Shakespeare,
I cannot fully express my feelings without using capital letters. WHO ART THOU AND WHAT BE THIS I DOTH NOT EVEN. I don't even know you why are you writing this explicit sonnet to me? YOU CREEP. However I dare not deny your skills as a poet. I find the comparisons quite charming and the words clever. Yes I am tired of those cliche metaphors just as you are. I am truly flattered by your effort in writing the poem. My heart may be sighing inside, but my mind speaks more convincingly. You are too arrogant and famous, in other words - you are a jerk. Keep on dreaming that your poem will last forever, it's not, and one day I'm going to die as well as you. Please, I am not as good as you think. You are totally blinded by your temporary passion. Let me tell you, I snore and I like spiders. HOW ABOUT THAT? Don't I sound extremely attractive? I also have a habit of biting my nails. So, go and find some other person who is like that in your poem and forget me. Before that I am going to forget you first.
Sincerely,
Catrina Chen

Entry 51: Heart!

In Emily Dickinson's poem, "Heart! We Will Forget Him!" Dickinson personifies her heart. Her heart becomes a separate being, although still part of herself. She treats her heart differently because she wants to forget the man she loved. She tries to use her mind, or her reason, to overcome her feelings. She also does that to feel like she is not alone. When she has lost the man she might be extremely depressed and desolated. It might be the reason why she talks to her own heart, so as to feel like the task of forgetting the person is not done alone. The poem gives off a feeling that, the emotions are harder to forget than cognitive ones. In the poem Dickinson tells her heart to hurry up or else her mind will remember the man again. It seems like she is able to put the memories of him aside in her head but not so much in her heart.
I can't recall a time when I tried to separate my thoughts and feelings, at least not intentionally. Most of the time I think I'm quite a logical person. When I feel an emotion I usually think about it either at once or afterward and analyze the feeling, reflecting why I feel that way. I guess that basically means I separate thoughts and feelings all the time. However I still consider both things one, not separated.

Entry 50: Tanka Poem

Each poem here was inspired by a real image. The first one is a cartoon character; the other two are album covers. 

Warden in purple
Wearing round yellow glasses
Red bow, yellow shirt
Also the black leather shoes
Has a gap between his teeth

Gray broken tombstone
Fading brown grass covers earth
Lonely black figure
Looks down without emotion
His hair sways with the cold wind.

Sunny day, blue sky
A walker playing red ball
A turn on sidewalk
Two scissors bigger than man
stand beside flattened people

Entry 49: Cinquain Poem

Mushroom

is not a plant

decomposes and tastes great

has all sorts of wonderful traits

fungus!

Songs

pleasant, enjoyable

makes things better

can't live without it

Music!

Time

keeps moving

flies by fast

I never have enough

Time!

Entry 48: Diamante Poem

Poetry Contest

creative, sentient

write, reflect, express

language, symbols, muscles, fatigue

run, jump, compete

physical, spirited

Sports Day

Night

dark, mysterious

whisper, loom, creep

shadows, anxiety, heat, energy

 refresh, uplift, open

bright, dynamic

Day

deviantART

abundant, professional

draw, sculpt, manipulate

artworks, comics, pictures, gifs

like, reblog, share

random, hilarious

Tumblr

Entry 47: A Day in Your Life

My phone rings beside my ear. I sit up, grab the phone to see what time is it - 7:10. My head feels like a stone so I sit for some more. Then I tumble out of bed, climb down the little white stairs, and step into my blue slippers. I snatch some clothes from the wardrobe. Not to be seen by my roommates, I quickly put them on in a corner. While flattening my hair with one hand I pick up my tooth brush and paste with another. Still feeling a bit dizzy, I stride to the bathroom. There, pushing the spigot for several times to get enough water, I clean my teeth in a haste. The water makes my hand cold and stiff. I walk to get my breakfast in the cafeteria. There are already students who come early and have begun eating their food. The morning light is pale, and without the lights turned on there is the quiet chatter in the thin air. The choices of breakfast lie on one table, looking identical to the one yesterday, and the days before. I get a sandwich and a drink. I go back to my dorm room and start eating. My roommates are all there now, talking, tidying, and browsing Facebook. The whole school has become alive. Human activities roam about in the hallways, with an occasional laughter or groan.

Entry 46: Acrostic

Chinese and English
Are the languages I speak.
Taiwan is the place I live.
Really
Interested in art, listen to music that
No one else likes.
Always do things
Carefully, work
Hard and get good grades.
Even so,
Never satisfied.

Superb
In psychedelic
Music.
Often uses the
Name Hallucinogen.
Produces Goa trance and
Other projects such as
Shpongle.
Forever
Obsessed with psychedelic drugs.
Ridiculously
Delighted by balanced numbers.

Entry 45: How Do Images Convey Mood?

Bright colors give out a more energetic and happier feeling. They attract the eyes. Not as saturated colors are not as emotional and can sometimes seem depressing. Darker colors look heavier and give people more pressure, while light colors generally make people relaxed. CSI the TV series and its spin-offs have very different approaches to the audience through their colors. CSI: Vegas uses dark colors and the setting is often at night. It creates a more ominous mood and emphasizes the dark and frantic, often sickly planned crimes. CSI: Miami always has bright, warm colors to mimic the weather in Florida. CSI: NY is set in grayish colors that depict the coldness of a big city. Sounds are really effective tools for creating moods. During the Christmas Break I spent in Seattle I went to see this exhibition on horror movies. The show talked about the importance of scores, or background music, in movies. Generally harmonic, slow, and light sounds are more appealing to the ears. Sounds that are faster, heavier, and have a certain amount of noise are more disturbing. Also, familiar sounds are more soothing than strange sounds. Last week I checked out this musician called Lustmord. He produces extremely dark and terrifying ambient music. His music has a lot of weird, stretched sounds accompanied by quiet but ominous noises. I'm often amazed at how certain songs can drive me into goosebumps and tears while others have no effect at all, or cheer me up, or freak me out. Sometimes they even create clear images in my head.

Entry 44: Images, Emotion, Mood

Vertical, and perpendicular to the eye, they line up and make patterns of simple geometric shapes. In the colors of poppies, bananas, blueberries, and avocado, they scream when you look at them. They repeat the same words every time you peer, as though worried that you will forget the ideas. They remind you the ways to literary responses. They never move or change; they just stick to the wall steadily, never appear in a different position. They are individuals, but they relate to each other in a way. They shape the same, they all have words all over their bodies. Their meanings are different, but the ideas link to one another. When you look through them in order, it sounds like shots of ideas being thrown out; poom, poom, poom. Their think bodies made out of paper bend when taken down from the wall. Then, you can hear the wind travel while the paper is being very naughty and irregular. We make these things once in a while in every class. They present ideas in a clear, straightforward way, along with visual aids. Since we write or draw them with markers usually, when you smell them you can smell the markers. And of course, there is this paper smell that is neither bad nor good.

Entry 43: Elements of Poetry

The elements of poetry are meter, rhythm, stanza, imagery, style, and diction. Other writings don't usually have meter, rhythm, and stanza, but they might have imagery and diction. On the other hand, poetry can have plot, setting, conflict and resolution as well. Meter is the stressed and unstressed syllables in words. Rhythm is the sound created by stressed and unstressed syllables. Stanza is a unit that groups the words in a poem. Imagery is to create a image or feeling through words. Style is the form the poem is based on, such as sonnet, free verse, etc. And diction is the choice of words or phrases in the poem. Other forms of fiction don't have rules on the meter and rhythm like in poems. A line in fiction would just be, "I walked to the store to buy chocolates." It is more like daily speech. A line in poetry usually have a more obvious rhythm. Stanza is also only used in poetry. Other forms of writing use lines and paragraphs as units. Imagery however can be used in both kinds of literature. Poetry can create a clear image in the mind as well as a description in a story. The form that the poetry fits into is often a set of rules that govern the shape of the poem. A fiction don't usually have that. As for diction, it basically means word choice so both poetry and fiction are composed of diction.

Entry 42: Poetry

Poems follow very different patterns compared to other forms of writing. Some poems, usually ancient ones, have to be restricted to a certain rule or structure. Modern poems are the complete opposite - they don't have to follow any rule at all. However, generally speaking, poems are more focused on the emotional effects they have on people. Each line of a poem is a stanza, and this composition only exists in poetry. Other forms of writing may have single lines, but most of the words are sorted by paragraphs. Poems are meant to be spoken aloud, heard, and felt. Most of the subjects in poems are not stated directly. Instead, the writer tries to use an imaginative way to describe the things from different aspects. Poems and other forms of writing are similar because they are all written to express an idea. Sometimes poems can do the same things as other forms of expression, but sometimes they can't. For example, poems and stories can both send an important message, or express a theme indirectly. Poems and songs are fundamentally alike because lyrics are a kind of poetry. But if a song doesn't have lyrics, it's just melody itself. Words and melodies seem to hit our senses and emotions differently. It might be that our brains use different parts to receive different things. And with that being said, poems can't do all the effects that a song does, and vice versa. Poems tend to trigger more imaginations since they are just black letters on paper. All the objects and abstractions described in a poem have to be visualized in the mind.

Entry 41: Analyzing Visuals

The colors really stand out first because they are complementary colors: blue and orange. The warm colors especially attract the viewer's eyes more than cold colors. The blue in this painting acts as the background. Then, I recognize that the orange is shaped like a Chinese dragon while the blue background is the waves. After that, I look into more detail and notice the outline that contour the dragon's various features such as scales, and of course the fierce waves behind it. The surface is smooth but hard. The artist wants to create a very smooth, detailed, graceful dragon that is also very fierce and strong looking. The artist uses rather bright colors. The bright orange of the dragon indicates that the dragon is full of power and energy. The dark blue waves suggest a mysterious and dangerous surrounding. The repeating patterns are the body of the dragon, the scales, its legs, and the waves. Repeating patterns and shapes in a picture create a sense of unity, balance, and rhythm. The predominant element is the contrasting colors. Contrast of the colors emphasize the subject of the picture and separate the foreground and background. The strongly visible lines make the objects very condensed. The texture is thick and tight. The repeating patterns in the background, which are the waves, create an illusion of movement and endlessness.

Entry 40: Poetry and Imagination

The poem is literally about the narrator putting poems inside his mouth and swallowing them, but figuratively it's describing the narrator reads poetry with ardor and ecstasy. We know the narrator can't really "eat" poetry because they are words on paper, and we don't eat paper (at least not normally). And of course there's not enough ink to be dripping down the corners of the mouth. The word "eating" is rather strong - it's essential to us - we all know the feeling of saliva forming, the texture and taste of food entering the mouth, the teeth press together and food getting ground into a mess, and finally pushing all that mixture to the back of the throat and down. Eating is essential and vital to all of us. It is also one of the biggest sources of happiness. When the narrator reads poetry, he takes up the beauty, thoughts and wisdom of the poem like consuming the nutrition of food.
I can say that...playing my guitar is like climbing a mountain. Moving on the rapid, rocky slope, my fingers begin to hurt a little. I climb higher and higher until the thinnest string. There, I reach the highest note and sit down, feeling satisfied that this climb lasts shorter than the last. I stride to different spots. The sounds that the mountain emanates pours into me, sweet and fresh, as I drink endlessly of that clean spring water.

Entry 39: Sacrifice

I have sacrificed my sleep quite a few times for drawing. When I'm drawing time just seems to fly, so fast that I don't even realize I'm sacrificing my sleep. Sometimes I also can't put my pen or mouse down unless I'm finished. Once I was coloring a birthday gift picture for my sister and stayed up until at least three in the morning. I think that's the only thing I would willingly sacrifice my sleep for. I give up sleep for other things such as homework because I have to.
Like what we discussed in class today, I would not sacrifice internet. It's so important - I need it for homework, for fun, and for all the wonderful things. I know the people in my generation are too obsessed with internet but, sorry, we can't help it. It's a nonstop-able trend.
It also depends on what you're sacrificing for, I think. Depending on each person's values, one might be willing to sacrifice a certain thing for one subject but not the other. For example, if I were to sacrifice the internet for some prestigious school, that's definitely a big NO. But if I have to sacrifice it to...maybe to prevent my family from falling apart, then I might think about it. Oh, talking about family, I suppose I won't sacrifice my family either.

Entry 38: Winter Holiday

During this two-week Christmas Break I, my mother and my grandmother flew across the Pacific Ocean to Seattle, Washington. Four days later my sister Rita also joined us. We spent most of the vacation there. Our hotel room is awesome! It has three double beds and a kitchen with almost all the kitchenware. It's so much better than five-star hotel rooms because it feels much more homey. It is located very close to the University of Washington. We often walked there after a meal.
We bought a CityPass and went to quite a few places. The Space Needle, of course, even though it was rather boring. The EMP museum, Rita and I had a lot of fun in it. There was the Nirvana exhibition and another one about horror movies. Neither I nor Rita listen to Nirvana or watch horror films but the latter was especially interesting. We hung out at Pike Market a few times and didn't buy anything except food. We visited the original Starbucks. At one point we came across the Gum Wall. It was such a surprise because both Mom and I have heard of it a long time ago and didn't know it was in Seattle. It was so gross. We also went to the Pacific Science Center and the Seattle Aquarium, sailed on the cruise, and visited the Zoo.
I did a little homework each day. Algebra and chemistry were a pain and Rita became my chemistry tutor. She brought the molecular model set and I got to play with it. I remember I made a benzene ring and was proud.
My computer had much trouble. The C folder was exploding and somehow it got infected with viruses. I had to do the recovery. Luckily my computer is back to normal now.
We came across a CD/DVD store that was closing and it was making a 20% sale. Rita and I bought a second-hand album by Robert Miles called Dreamland. It was still preeetty expensive according to our standard. After I returned to Taiwan Rita told me that she went to a smaller store and plowed the pile of CDs that worth 4 dollars per 6 CDs and brought back some treasures. Yeah, we have a fetish for those shiny discs.

That was a fun journal.